Starting Weight: 278 pounds
Current Weight: 259 pounds
Weight Lost: 19 pounds

I have logged all my food on MFP for 60 days in a row! Woot! Woot! It seems everyone has a different timescale for what makes a habit. I have logged for 2 months now, but I wouldn’t call it a habit yet, it’s more like a benign chore. Just something that needs to be done in order to function as an adult, like cleaning the kitchen. I don’t really mind and I feel better once I’ve done it.

After I felt myself losing focus last week, I made the following list of Scale and Non-Scale Victories that I am looking forward to checking off:

Scale Goals:

✔ Down 10 lbs: 268 lbs
☐ Down 25 lbs: 253 lbs
☐ Weigh <250 lbs by John and Sam’s wedding (Sept 20, 2019)
☐ Lose more than my son weighs: ~243 lbs
☐ Down 50 lbs: 228 lbs
☐ Weigh less than my husband: 224 lbs
☐ Under 100 kg: 220 lbs
☐ BMI Class 2 Obese: 215 lbs (39.3 bmi)
☐ Onderland: 199 lbs
☐ BMI Class 1 Obese: 188 lbs (34.4 bmi)
☐ 100 lbs down: 178 lbs
☐ BMI Class Overweight: 161 lbs (29.4 bmi)
☐ Reached Goal Weight: 160 lbs
☐ Lose ~1.2 lbs/week on average

 Non-Scale Goals:

☐ Someone notices my weight loss
☐ Wedding ring fits on ring finger
☐ Fit into 2x company cotton polo
☐ Fit into wedding dress
☐ Ride a rollercoaster without worry
☐ Take an airplane without worry
☐ Buy clothes in standard shops
☐ Fit into skinny clothes box
☐ My husband is able to lift me up

It really helps me to focus on the small scale victories. Looking at  losing 100+ pounds is simply daunting and seemingly insurmountable. But my next scale goal is just 6 pounds away!

Starting Weight: 278 pounds
Current Weight: 262 pounds
Weight Lost: 16 pounds

My current weight may be a lie because I was a bit dehydrated this morning. Note to future self: DO NOT be disappointed if your weight next week bounces up a little. A small gain does not mean that you are on the wrong track. For goodness sake, keep it together!

I’m dehydrated because in the last five days I have been a lot more active than usual. I’m sorting and organizing my mother’s basement as a birthday gift. I’m happy to help, but didn’t quite understand what I was getting myself into:

I don’t feel like your eyes can do the heap justice. It’s not until you dive into it that you realize the density of the undertaking.

As I was sorting last night, I was thinking about my earlier therapy appointment (second session ever). She started talking about schema and how families create their own culture, be it healthy or otherwise. I’ve definitely grown up with some unhealthy schema, but it’s so difficult to define clearly. I come from a family of over-eaters. Food is a loving indulgence that is deserved and joyous. Preparing and giving food is a loving act. Food makes us feel better when we are sad and it’s the center of celebrations when we are happy. We hardly ever get together and not eat. And getting together is a cause for celebration afterall!

Years ago I remember being flummoxed while watching this scene from Dan in Real Life:

It stuck out to me as wholly odd and unrealistic. No one does that. No one exercises with their family. Clearly it’s just a silly device to showcase Dan’s awkward sexual tension.

But then I couldn’t get the scene out of my head. Yes, it’s a little contrived, but not nearly as alien as I had read it initially. A lot of families do workout together, or play sports, or go bike riding, or do something active. We just never did.

So how do I change the schema without annoying or alienating my family? Should I even try at this point? I’m 37. Our schema is so ingrained it seems pointless and almost cruel to stir things up now.

Instead I think I should focus on my little family of three and get them excited about awkwardly dancing outside with me. That seems a lot more doable.
 

Unknown ~ Unknown

Starting Weight: 278 pounds
Current Weight: 267 pounds
Weight Lost: 11 pounds

I’ve been wanting to get this started for a long time, and it looks like today’s the day. Two things are on my resolutions list every year: lose weight and make more art. So here we are.

My weight loss journey has lurched and stumbled many, many times; I have even tried to start this blog once before. So I’m trying to figure out how to make this time more successful. If I’m being honest with myself, I must say that I have never addressed the mental aspects of my weight struggles. So on Tuesday, I start therapy. Dun dun dun!

There is a lot of stuff rolled up into what I want this blog to be, but rather than explain it, I’d rather just do it. I tend to over-think and under-do, but I’m working on that. I’m working on a lot of things.