So technically I am “supposed” to weigh under 135 pounds to be considered at a healthy weight. That number sounds ridiculous to me as I have never been below 190 lbs in my adult life. My personal goal weight is about 160 pounds, to the medical field’s chagrin I’m sure. At 160 pounds I will have a BMI below 30, and it’s a scale weight I can actually envision. It still feels extremely far off and abstract to me though.
I have come to terms with the idea that my weight will always fluctuate. I’m just hoping I can keep it fluctuating between 160 and 190 instead of 250 and 280. Weight is simply my battle in this life. That doesn’t mean I hate myself or that I feel worthless. It just is.
My overall goal for now is to stick to my plan: track my food, maintain ~1570 calories per day, and go to therapy twice a month. My first official weightloss goal on this journey is to get to 250 pounds by September 20th. I’m going to a wedding on that day and would feel better in a dress if I were smaller. I can attain my goal if I lose an average of 1.5 pounds per week until then. I’m on pace, slow and steady.