A Lot to Unpack
Starting Weight: 278 pounds
Current Weight: 262 pounds
Weight Lost: 16 pounds
My current weight may be a lie because I was a bit dehydrated this morning. Note to future self: DO NOT be disappointed if your weight next week bounces up a little. A small gain does not mean that you are on the wrong track. For goodness sake, keep it together!
I’m dehydrated because in the last five days I have been a lot more active than usual. I’m sorting and organizing my mother’s basement as a birthday gift. I’m happy to help, but didn’t quite understand what I was getting myself into:
I don’t feel like your eyes can do the heap justice. It’s not until you dive into it that you realize the density of the undertaking.
As I was sorting last night, I was thinking about my earlier therapy appointment (second session ever). She started talking about schema and how families create their own culture, be it healthy or otherwise. I’ve definitely grown up with some unhealthy schema, but it’s so difficult to define clearly. I come from a family of over-eaters. Food is a loving indulgence that is deserved and joyous. Preparing and giving food is a loving act. Food makes us feel better when we are sad and it’s the center of celebrations when we are happy. We hardly ever get together and not eat. And getting together is a cause for celebration afterall!
Years ago I remember being flummoxed while watching this scene from Dan in Real Life:
It stuck out to me as wholly odd and unrealistic. No one does that. No one exercises with their family. Clearly it’s just a silly device to showcase Dan’s awkward sexual tension.
But then I couldn’t get the scene out of my head. Yes, it’s a little contrived, but not nearly as alien as I had read it initially. A lot of families do workout together, or play sports, or go bike riding, or do something active. We just never did.
So how do I change the schema without annoying or alienating my family? Should I even try at this point? I’m 37. Our schema is so ingrained it seems pointless and almost cruel to stir things up now.
Instead I think I should focus on my little family of three and get them excited about awkwardly dancing outside with me. That seems a lot more doable.