Mistakes are proof that you are trying.

I can feel myself slipping out of weightloss mode. It all started with chocolate cake.

After watching myself fail at healthy eating habits my whole life, I’ve learned that I never intentionally end a diet or weight loss plan. It just sort of slips down from the top of my mind into the forgotten realm, like a dream. And I can feel it start to happen this time.

We celebrated my mother’s birthday on Friday night, and I made a chocolate cake with buttercream icing for her. My first round of icing tasted weird so I found a new recipe and tried again, futzing with it until it tasted right and had the right consistency. Which meant I ended up eating some of it, and even a little bit of buttercream is a whooole lotta calories. Plus, my mom requested spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. I had successfully avoided plate fulls of pasta for the past 8 weeks until Friday night. The pasta plus the cake meant I ate nearly 3,000 calories on Friday! That’s almost double my daily allotment. It made me so tired – I fell asleep at 9:30pm.

Then the weekend wasn’t very focused. I ate pizza on Saturday and fried chicken on Sunday, both at family events. Eesh. I’m starting to notice a trend. Family = overeating.

So today I am avoiding the scale. I’m so afraid the number that pops up will completely demotivate me. If my weight is up then I’ll feel hopeless, and if the number is down, I will learn that overeating is okay. So the scale will stay in the corner of the bathroom today. Maybe tomorrow.

NSV: I am proud that I continued to track everything I ate even when I overdid it. It’s so hard to admit and record your own weaknesses. It’s like turning in a test you know you failed. But I did it, and that’s progress.

I am also thankful that I have a therapy appointment tomorrow. I need the accountability.